


Gone

by Midnyt_Tyr



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Gen, Minor Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester, No Sex, Pre-Series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-01
Updated: 2014-06-01
Packaged: 2018-01-27 21:25:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1723022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Midnyt_Tyr/pseuds/Midnyt_Tyr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam receives a letter from John.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gone

**Author's Note:**

> Sort of a song fic. I pretty much took *NSYNC's "Gone" and tweaked it to fit into this.

'Sammy, my precious baby boy, Sammy.

There's a thousand words that I could say to make you come back. Seems so long ago you left your brother and I to go off to Stanford. The Impala never felt so lonely, so empty without you in the back seat.

I remember how we screamed at each other that day. How everything felt so wrong between us. So strange... 

I know you hated this life, baby boy. I know you needed a change. A positive one. A normal one.

But you never answered Dean's calls or mine. Mine, I understand, but your brother? He was... Different after you left. I know I didn't deserve even a final 'fuck you', but to just ignore Dean like that? Why?

Was it something I did to make you so bitter to him that you would walk out and disappear from HIS life so drastically? If it was, then please forgive me. Not for me, but for Dean. At least come back into his life. I wish I could find a way to make it so that you were right here with us. Right now.

I've been sitting here - drunk most of the time, but not now, I swear - and I can't get you off my mind. I've tried my best to be a man and not only admit to my failures, but be strong. I've driven myself damn near insane wishing, God, PRAYING to touch your face. But, the truth remains.

You're gone.'

Sam gulped down another mouthful of whiskey. Like father, like son, huh? Blinking back an almost stray tear, he flipped the wrinkled, tear-dotted page.

'I'm not gonna make excuses, Sammy. Won't change a goddamned thing. If there's something, anything, that I can do, please let me and Dean know. We're family, baby boy. Now and forever. Nothing, no demons, nightmares or rage can change that. Time is passing so slowly now. Has been for the past almost three years. Guess that's our lives without you. Maybe we... maybe I can change my everyday, but baby, I can't. Truth be told, I don't want to. Not yet.

I'll just hang around and find more things to do, more hunts, to get my mind off missing you. I do miss you, Sammy. I love you. I just pray you still love me too. Please -'

Sam's tear fell on the paper next to the already tear stained sentence.

'- say you do.'

"I still love you, Daddy. Dean too." Sam whispered.

'Even though we're so far apart, I still and always will love you. I wish you could see that I need you here with us. With me. I'm so sorry, baby. I want you home, but I can't think of bringing you back into this life when you've finally found what you've wanted. I'm so happy for you and I'm so proud of you. Never think otherwise. Be safe, Sammy. I love you.

-John'

Sam folded the long letter and placed it carefully back in it's envelope. He wiped away his tears and pulled his knees up to his chest, wrapping his long arms around himself and burying his face between his knees.

Jessica had been watching silently from the doorway practically from the beginning. When Sam began crying so hard that his body shook and he couldn't muffle his choked sobs, she crawled onto the bed and pulled him to her. She has never seen him cry before and it scared her, but she wasn't about to ask him about it now. It can wait.

John stood outside of Sam's apartment. He wasn't going in. He personally picked the lock to the mailbox for Sam's place and slipped the letter inside. He watched from afar as Sam collected his mail, chatting happily with a pretty, petit blond that he practically hung all over. He saw Sam through his window as he read the note, pacing in front of the window.

He saw him wipe away what he hoped was a tear. He smiled sadly.

"Be safe, Sammy. You'll always be my baby boy."

John started the Impala and drove away.


End file.
